Bad boys, Nice guys and Wimps
Kim Kiyosaki's new book is awesome. Anyone interested in Rich Dad's ideas should check it out. Not only is it more informative than any of her husband's books, it's also just as fun to read.
One of the chapters contrasts types of men. Apparently there are three types: Bad boys, nice guys and wimps. While this is obviously a gross generalisation, it seems that there is some truth (or at least value) there. I'd first qualify it as descriptive of behaviours exhibited by men rather than being linked with an individual's traits. But even then...
How many women want bad boys? Sure, as 21st century men, we've been taught by our parents to be 'nice', but how many women really like what they see? My London-based female friends lament the dearth of good men just like my Hong Kong-based friends, and it's an epidemic amongst professional women - that's why (I'm told) so many female lawyers date tradesmen.
There is a little-known but easily felt difference between being a strong man and being a nasty piece of work. It's the difference between seduction and surrender. To lead without dominating... Serve without supplicating.
Much of this comes back to intimacy. To be open and honest with another requires us to share part of ourselves. This leaves us vulnerable to being rejected... And most of us would rather anything but that! The 'bad boy' is an architype and we all possess and demonstrate different aspects to varying degrees. Denial grants power; integrity - true strength - is the benefit of facing and reconciling the truth.
posted by Daniel @ 9:59 pm
2 Comments:
I told you we would speak again Dan. I understand this concept - it makes me think. I'm a bad girl with a bad guy and it probably shouldnt be like that, in comparison to the binary opposite of the lawyer dating a tradesman, but who is to say? Our habbits compliment eachother, provoking us to delve deeper into the 'darker side' of something that, i suppose, is not socialy acceptable. Destroying ourselves by escaping into another dimension, spining and feeling, gives me the most omniscient feeling, invincibility. But, it depends exacly what you are spun on, or more of what world you are entering. There may not be a world, as being content in this world is satisfying enough. But for those of us who escape, what do you do if you cant slow it down? Do you keep on spinning and feeling, or maybe fucking speed it up? Some food for thought, i suppose, but i find if i try to explore my happiness of love too much, i think it's a hoax. In many of my mysterious worlds, things are so real, they are fake. I realize we compose our own problems, battles, struggles and hopes. So i concluded that we fall in love to be hurt, and to hurt others.
Fascinating comment - thanks!
Life proceeds through periods of equilibrium, where we aren't necessarily with or doing the 'best' things, but periods in which the combination of factors and aspects works together.
A good friend is working through career issues. She hates her job, is scared to change it, and is particularly scared of letting go of her inherited materialism and need to be seen as 'successful'. Her job pays her very well, yet she wants more than just a job that her parents and friends tell her is all that she deserves.
Likewise, a lot of us get into relationships that don't really give us what we want... but are okay for now. For one person, it may be because this person gives us a bit of attention and something to distract us from a lot of pain. For others, it may be because throwing enough energy into the relationship can allow them to forget about the mess that makes up the rest of their life. Still other relationships actually give great lessons despite being painful adventures through hell and back at the time!
We all have to walk our own path.
We all must be true to that path... the extent to which we are distracting ourselves will be in proportion to the postponement or avoidance of the lesson that we need to learn, the truth of which sets us free. You already know that a delusion of invincibility isn't being true to your path, even if it's part of your journey.
If I think too hard my head starts to hurt and you're forced to focus on feeling... really feeling. And when you let yourself feel, I find that the truth is revealed. And I believe that the truth is love.
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