Eagles and chickens

I was always afraid of abseiling. When I was in school, many of my friends would do hard-core climbing and canyoning etc, but I was so terrified that I'd freeze up as I went over the edge.

A few years ago I was indoor rockclimbing. It was awesome fun! But on the last climb of the day I was just out of reach of the top. It didn't matter how I stretched, I was still about six inches from the 'top.

So I jumped.
And I touched the bar.
And then I enjoyed the bouncing on the dynamic safety rope.
In that moment, I knew that the safety eqipment 'worked', and I was never afraid again.

If you never let go of the need for approval, suspend your fear of disapproval and live your own life rather than the life that others want you to live, you'll always be trapped. And if that's your path, that's fine... But you can do anything.

Sometimes it seems like you're like an eagle who has grown up surrounded by chickens... And when you've looked up and seen the eagles flying overhead, you've sensed that you could be like them, until you've listened to the chickens around you telling you that you can't so much that you almost believe them. You may not yet know to where you are flying or how high you can fly, but you are an eagle.

You always were an eagle, and you always will be.
Of course, maybe we're all eagles and just acting like chickens... forgetting our true nature.


I was recently given the metaphor of the carrot, the egg and the coffee bean. They're all very common foods that start out hard. When put in hot water, look at the difference. The carrot becomes soft. The egg becomes hard. And the coffee bean releases itself and changes the environment in which it is placed. When faced with adversity, do I go soft, do I grow hardened, or do I release my true essence and in doing so change the world... transform the challenge into purpose?

Bad boys, Nice guys and Wimps

Kim Kiyosaki's new book is awesome. Anyone interested in Rich Dad's ideas should check it out. Not only is it more informative than any of her husband's books, it's also just as fun to read.

One of the chapters contrasts types of men. Apparently there are three types: Bad boys, nice guys and wimps. While this is obviously a gross generalisation, it seems that there is some truth (or at least value) there. I'd first qualify it as descriptive of behaviours exhibited by men rather than being linked with an individual's traits. But even then...

How many women want bad boys? Sure, as 21st century men, we've been taught by our parents to be 'nice', but how many women really like what they see? My London-based female friends lament the dearth of good men just like my Hong Kong-based friends, and it's an epidemic amongst professional women - that's why (I'm told) so many female lawyers date tradesmen.

There is a little-known but easily felt difference between being a strong man and being a nasty piece of work. It's the difference between seduction and surrender. To lead without dominating... Serve without supplicating.

Much of this comes back to intimacy. To be open and honest with another requires us to share part of ourselves. This leaves us vulnerable to being rejected... And most of us would rather anything but that! The 'bad boy' is an architype and we all possess and demonstrate different aspects to varying degrees. Denial grants power; integrity - true strength - is the benefit of facing and reconciling the truth.